The Toppled Bollard, along with its associated enterprise The Broken Glass, is a mythical pub, nightclub and events centre set in the heart of Corby, Northamptonshire.  It was created as a location for an on-going series of stories which have been told in the sales letters sent to customers and potential customers of Hamilton House Mailings plc.  

 The letters concern the activities of the chairman of a direct mail company which chronicle his attempts to persuade reluctant clients to do more direct mail.  They also chart the wild goings-on as members of the marketing elite of the East Midlands gather together to exchange tales and give each other awards. 

Why did we bother to invent it?

It is often said in direct mail that mailshots work better when they have an accompanying letter.  During the 1990s I repeatedly tested this, and found it to be untrue.  What is true, however, is that certain types of sales letters can grab the recipient’s attention and make the recipient much more likely to read the enclosed brochure or other sales literature. 

Throughout the 90s we experimented with many different types of sales letter, noting exactly which properties are pre-requisites of success in this area, and eventually we hit on the idea of a sales letter that basically makes fun of sales letters.  The argument in favour of this approach was simple: most of our customers and potential customers received hundreds of sales letters a year.   But virtually none of these ever had the slightest bit of humour in them.  However our sales team (who answer our phone lines, handling day to day enquiries from these same customers and potential customers) could often be heard sharing a little joke or humorous comment with those on the other end of the line. 

So we tried writing a few amusing sales letters – sales letters which told silly stories and which were written up as take-offs of sales letters that accompany most mail shots.  Initially the idea was to continue the series for a maximum of four letters, but the response from recipients was so overwhelming that the series was extended. 

These original sales letters did not have any set theme, except that the joke was invariably on the writer of the letter, not at the expense of anyone else.   However, as I was called upon to write more and more of these stories it quickly became clear to me that life was going to be a lot easier if I could create a location and small set of characters on which I could fall back.  Such a location and such characters would give a setting to the humour – and would I hoped, make it slightly easier to come up with a new tale every three or four weeks.

The subsequent series of letters featuring the Toppled Bollard is the most successful series of sales letters that we have created in the last ten years.  I suspect it is also one of the most successful series of sales letters created anywhere in the last ten years.  And yet paradoxically it has not been copied, imitated or replicated anywhere.   It is almost as if others have noted our success in this field but felt that it was “not for the likes of us.”  

I’ve debated this point many times at seminars and conferences and found that most people involved in selling via direct mail are utterly frightened of humour.  This is completely the opposite of firms involved in selling via television, radio or cinema.  It is strange, and I can’t quite understand why it should be so, but it is. 

Thus most of our customers over the years who have asked us to increase their direct mail response rates by writing sales letters for them have made it clear that they want a serious piece – and of course we have obliged.  I am delighted to say that something like 98% of those who have received a draft copy have been very happy and willing to continue with the contract.   (I should explain that our creative contracts allow our customers to cancel the contract without cost or obligation if upon getting the draft they feel it is not what they wanted). 

Of that majority who do take up the contract, over 85% tell us that they get an increase in response rates when using the text we have created for them. 

Our view remains that had they allowed us to experiment with more humorous themes we would have been able to go even further.   Certainly the small number of companies who have asked us to write sales letters for them with a comic theme seem to have done particularly well as a result.   

As our own “Toppled Bollard” stories have become increasingly surreal they have grown in fame, and we now have a mailing list of people who specifically ask to receive each instalment of the life and times of the Toppled Bollard and its bizarre and eccentric clientele.   Repeatedly we try and take these people off our mailing list, on the grounds that they haven’t bought anything from us for months, but they beg us not remove them from the story. 

It is for these people, as well as those who have asked for details of the why’s and how’s of the creation of the Bollard myth, that this site is constructed. 

If you would like to talk about the why’s and wherefores of how the way you write your sales letters can dramatically affect the response rate you get to your direct mail, please do call Tony Attwood on 01536 399 000.   There is no obligation and no charge – as long as Tony is available he will be quite willing to talk about the issues of how writing affects the response rate in direct mail.   In the meanwhile you can read more about this particular campaign, and its remarkable success, on the rest of this web site. 

What is Hamilton House?

Hamilton House Mailings plc is a direct mail agency which focuses on raising response rates in direct mail.   Our aim is to work with our clients to get them ever higher response rates, without increasing their costs.  In order to reveal how we work, we are willing to talk openly about the sort of campaign we might devise for our customers, without charge and without obligation.   Even after the contract is signed the customer has the option of withdrawing without any penalty, if he/she feels that the resultant advert is not that which was required. 

Hamilton House offers the full range of direct mail services including:

• Comments and advice on every aspect of direct mail – from whether mailmerge works through to whether the date you mail makes any difference.

• Copywriting – which is what this site is mostly about
• List supply – including a unique on-line list research and ordering service at www.hamilton-house.com
• Letter shop (the providing of envelopes, putting the items in the envelopes, and handing over to Royal Mail)
• Fulfilment of orders on behalf of customers – in which we hold supplies of our client’s products and send them to our client’s customers upon receipt of orders.
• Database management
• Warehousing, stock holding, and despatch
• Low volume call centre facilities
• Invoicing and credit control on behalf of our clients.

How it starts – the free review

Many of our customers come to us initially with a copy of their existing promotion.  We give our thoughts and ideas on how response rates could be enhanced (usually on the phone) and discuss alternatives to the customer’s current approach.   There’s no charge or obligation for this service but we find that the majority of those who let us see a piece of their current advertising then do use our paid-for services. 

Raising response rates in direct mail 

The Hamilton House web site (www.hamilton-house.com) contains an ever growing archive  of articles on ways of increasing direct mail response rates – in fact we suspect there is more on raising response rates in direct mail at that web site, than anywhere else in the universe.  (If you do find a greater volume of free-to-reader materials please do let us know and we’ll tell our customers about it). 

If that is not enough you can also join one or more of our free email discussion groups (to join just email any of the addresses below), or call us for either our education shared mailing catalogue, or our business and education solo mailing and list catalogue. 

The Newsgroups 

None of these newsgroups accept any advertising.  The first three are open to members to contribute their comments and questions. 

Direct Mail Secrets  

Discusses issues relating to direct mail in general (such as how to get particular mailing lists, how the Corporate TPS regulations affect follow-up phone calls etc) and runs information on mailing issues – such as Royal Mail price changes, Advertising Standards Authority rulings that affect direct mail, decisions by Postcomm – the regulator - etc.   To join send an email to direct-mail-secrets-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Education Marketing

Similar to Direct Mail Secrets in that members can send in their questions and thoughts – but this time focussed totally on selling to schools, universities, colleges and parents.   Regular updates are included on new government initiatives in education which offer opportunities to companies that sell into education.  To join send an email to Education-marketing-subscribe@yahoogroups.com 

Creative Direct 

A group that discusses how the way in which one handles the creative side of direct mail affects the response rate.   CreativeDirect-subscribe@yahoogroups.com 

Marketing Minute 

No discussion – just an occasion note on a new approach to direct mail, or an issue that seems to contradict established wisdom.   MarketingMinute-subscribe@yahoogroups.com