“If you teach a child to read, he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”

George W Bush

 

At a recent meeting of the Corby and England Advertising Association held in the Toppled Bollard, the key note speech was given by that distinguished copywriter Billy “The Dog” McGraw.   On this occasion Billy had been invited to lead a discussion on the topic of advertising and morality, and he suggested that all advertising should be run according to strict moral principles.   Sadly this proved to be a contentious area, and several delegates sought to counter what they took to be an attack on their own work in a robust and forthright manner.   

When matters quietened down Billy was asked for an example with which to back up his claim.  The Dog considered the matter deeply.  Then he stated that in his view a perfect example of a correct moral principle was, “do not threaten the visiting speaker with a poker.”  

Many felt that The Dog was being far too clever for his own good – and for the good of advertising in general.  Jack “The Mole” Fitzgibbon spoke for many in saying,  “I don’t understand any of what The Dog says.  I read that we only make use of 10% of our brains anyway.”  

“But what about the other 10%?” asked Billy, somewhat unwisely I felt.  It took several minutes for the police to arrive and restore order.  

At this point Billy made what I took to be a further error, by circulating some of his own advertisements which, he argued (as far as one could hear him), showed the validity of his position.   The Mole, perhaps a little the worse for wear at this time, took one of the sheets and waved it at the audience, demanding to know what exactly it was supposed to be.    Billy informed him it was a piece of direct mail.  The Mole announced that the writing was very bad and was probably copied anyway.  Trying to defend Billy I told the Mole that you can’t fake bad writing – it was a gift.   The Mole said that both Billy and I ought to learn how to write and speak good English.  I said, “if I ever do learn how to speak good English to whom am I going to speak it?”    

There was further disruption at the back of the hall and with that the meeting broke up.  

Yours truly,   

 

Tony Attwood  

PS: We sell mailing lists and have helped many firms get ever higher response rates from their mailings.  Getting higher response rates often means getting people to read the cover letter in full, so they go on and read the rest of the pack.   If you would like to discuss this, or any other issue relating to direct mail, call me on 01536 399 013.